A November to Remember

A good friend from my high school cheerleading days has started her own blog to document her final 30 days in college. She's a riot, so I suggest everyone read Miss Hayley H's Final 30 Days.

In other news, last night made me very, very happy! Welcome back, GOP. Let's not fuck it up like the Democrats did. Can't wait until 2012!!!

What's up, 5 month hiatus?

Summer has been over for quite some time. In fact, fall has been in swing for a couple of weeks, so, I'm pretty far behind in blogging.

I really had nothing exciting to blog about this summer (at least nothing that would keep anonymity a priority). The LSAT came and went. I didn't do as well as I had wanted, partially thanks to the previous boy being an ABSOLUTE PSYCHO. All personal issues aside, my summer was spent traveling around the country, and even to the Bahamas. I had a great time with my friends and family, signed up for the October LSAT, and started my very last semester.

School is less than exciting, with the exception of my Health and Human Sexuality class. I have been doing nothing legal or political other than applying to law schools and pissing off liberals in Priuses with my new 2008 Tahoe. Here's what happened:

I was at a gas station filling up my beast when a tall, gangly man pulls up in his neon blue Prius and gets out. After he was finished inside the gas station, he struck up conversation with me.

Liberal Man: "So how much does it cost to fill that up?"

Me: "Umm, I'm actually not too sure. I got it recently so I haven't paid attention to how much a full tank costs."

Liberal Man goes on to lecture me about my truck's environmental footprint and how I don't care about the environment so I should be ashamed of myself and consider a different mode of transportation. My response: "I'm sorry, tell me again what you're going to do with all of the toxic components in your hybrid battery once it's fucked. And what are you going to do with your next battery, and the next?" Needless to say, he shut up pretty quickly and drove off.

The moral of the story is to never try to insult a tiny blonde girl in her large Tahoe that is not only infinitely smarter than you, but can also monster truck your ass.

Summer

Another semester down, nine measly credit hours left before undergrad is done and gone. I could get them all finished in summer school and graduate in August, but who wants to do that? This means I get one more football season, three super easy A's, and four extra months to keep pretending like the real world doesn't apply to me.

I'm retaking the LSAT in T-24 days. We'll see how well that goes over since I've had zero time to study for it and my brain was completely fried after finals.

But, hell, it's summer! For once I'm trying to have an actual summer instead of staying inside all day every day, slaving away for no money. If I'm not going to get paid, I'd rather do nothing. So, that's what I'm going to do. However, that doesn't mean you can't still laugh at other interns (much, much less intelligent than I, of course) here at the DC Summer Interns blog.

On My Soapbox

It's boring when there aren't trials so I've decided that my new plan of action is when bored, go home. I'm much more productive and less stressed when I actually have time to get things done. (Like go to the grocery store, but yeah right that won't happen until I don't have any food left.) So now I'm home and procrastinating like I always do even though I have a test in 4 hours.

Here's the thing, there are 4 guys on my school's baseball team in my class. Who cares that it's a freshman communications class? I'll gladly get credit for hanging out with guys who may or may not become MLB players.

The real reason for this post is to help out my dear friends at CASA, my favorite philanthropy. CASA (Court Appointed Special Advocates) is a wonderful organization that helps children all across the country. I won't bore anyone with details, but click HERE to read for yourself. For my communications class that I referred to earlier, we have to do a project with an organization and I chose CASA. I'm excited to raise money for them because I really believe in what the advocates do for the kids. And as soon as my own future kids are old enough, I'll become a CASA volunteer myself. So, if you have a heart and I share the same sentiment about this organization, please donate to your local chapter of CASA. Please and thank you!!!

Return of the Crud

Yep. It's back. That nasty cough I had during finals that hung around until the second week or so of January has returned. It hurts. It makes life difficult. And the medicine I take for it makes me shaky, which is incredibly annoying.

Still nothing exciting happening these days. Just the same old running around between campus, the courthouse, and the bars.

Spring Break plans haven't been decided on yet, but it looks like I'll probably be venturing back to Taos with Alpha Gay and a few other people because my girlfriends can't ever decide on plans. However, I'll be traveling to DC again in April for a field trip (awesome, right?) and the boy (who isn't actually the boy anymore, I guess) is going as well. We have two classes together which means it's impossible for me to get over him. We're still good friends. It's not so weird anymore but it's just unfortunate, and I still miss him like all the time because he is so wonderful, it's just bad timing. Timing can suck it. Anyway, we're going for four days and it should be a lot of fun. I'm looking forward to it.

I'm ready to travel somewhere again. Too bad I'm not going to Mardi Gras... that would be a blast. Maybe in law school.

But, seriously, this cough has got to go away for good. I can't handle it anymore. Ahhhhhh!

Words from the Wise

A defense attorney told me today: "If you're defending a DWI trial, during voir dire, if there happens to be a guy out there with a tattoo, you want him. Chances are really good that he's been drunk."

A Belated Resolution

Each January I entertain the idea of making resolutions for the new year, but I'm never serious about them. Or I'll think of a really easy one and just half-ass it for about a month before it disappears altogether. This year will be different. Last year opened up a lot of things to me, and since I'm single once again, I have the time and energy to devote to a resolution. There's just one with some ways to make it happen...

Make myself healthier.

How?

1. Eat better.

--I have a weird eating schedule when I'm in school because of time constraints. So, I need to find a good schedule of good foods and eat them regularly.

2. Get out of unhealthy relationships when I first realize they're unhealthy.

--Heartbreak is one of the worst feelings ever... this past month has been awful, and I'm not about to feel that way again for a very long time.

3. Work out a lot more.

--This time last year I was doing yoga a few times a week consistently for a couple of months until I got kind of sick and never really got back into it again. Now is the time to start doing it again to keep myself sane.

4. Study more.

--Since I'm doing a victory semester, this is really the last semester I have to really give my GPA another boost before I apply to law school. My second try at the LSAT is five months away and there's no way I can have another mental breakdown before it.

5. Surround myself with my best friends.

--Four of my very best friends are graduating in May. Two are going up to NYC, one to Austin, and the other to grad school in either California or Colorado. All of us don't really have that much time in the same place so we're going to make this semester the very best!

6. Try to read more books for fun.

--I've always loved reading. College has made it more and more difficult to read for fun. All the stress to come is going require reading as an escape.

But, first and foremost, I need to kick this black lung I've had going since before finals. It will not go away so I'm finally going to the doctor tomorrow. We'll see how that goes.

Merry Christmas

Hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

(And Happy Bowling for those of you with teams in bowl games!)

What a Start to Christmas Break

Since I have returned home for break, I've cut my finger while slicing a bagel, burned a knuckle trying to put a pizza in the oven, and now I have a black eye.

These are my two dogs, Macy and Bear. Macy is a 2 year old Portuguese Water Dog and Bear is a 9 month old, 80 pound Bouvier des Flandres.

They both get really really excited when I come home and come downstairs in the mornings. Bear doesn't realize how big he is so it can be painful when he starts jumping around all excitedly. Yesterday morning when I came downstairs, I bent down to pet Bear and he jumped up and his head smacked my face in just the right spot. I noticed the bruising a couple hours later.

And that's how I have a black eye for Christmas.

Happy Graduation

I get a text from Crackberry this morning saying:

-- So walking across the stage first gives me the right to say I graduated first in my class, right?

Me: Absolutely. Why did you get to walk first?

Crackberry: Because when I walked in I naturally sat in the front row front seat for the business section and wrote reserved on it--nobody asks questions.

So, congratulations to all of my friends graduating today! Especially you, Crackberry.

So Over Finals

Last night I woke up every hour or so because my throat hurts so bad and Tylenol PM doesn't do the trick. I'm almost done being sick over finals--and by that I mean, finals are almost over, not that I'm feeling better.

On a lighter note: I'm wondering if law schools will admit me solely based on the scores I've gotten in the law-related classes I've taken in college? The judge's legitimately scary mix of hypotheticals was no match for me. (And then I dreamt my dad got arrested for too many speeding tickets and I got a NG. A-thank you.)

A Wish for Good Grades

I love my school for many reasons. My dad hates it primarily for one reason (any guesses?). Like many of my school's higher-ups, our Provost is hysterical. His genuine warmth, kindness, and humor come second only to our Chancellor. People at big state schools don't get to know that about those who run their schools. They're lucky if their professors can pick them out from a crowd of 300. Maybe those of us at small private schools pay for the chance to be a friend instead of just another face among the crowd, but I don't mind that at all. My professors know that I try hard in their classes by incessantly emailing them and coming into their offices. At big schools, some people try hard by buying class notes from someone to make up for not going to class (ahem, Crackberry).

During the week of finals before Christmas Break, our Provost emails out a Christmas card. It may just be my love of Christmastime, but Christmas cards are one of my favorite things. The Provost may not give a little extra personal piece of advice in the ones he sends, but they still put a smile on my face when I see the email pop up in my inbox. I'd like to share this year's card with those who read this, in hopes that this advice will apply to you as well! (Another bit of advice: Spilling your entire plate of eggs on your couch is not a good way to start a 24-hour study period.)

The Woes of Finals

Good news! Everything is done and booked and squared away for our bowl game! I picked up my tickets this morning and I'm ready to head out there after what will be a crazy fun New Years in Dallas with my best friends.

Bad news. I have three finals this week: Due Process in the Criminal Courts tomorrow, PreCal Wednesday, and Political Science 101 on Thursday (aka the class you're supposed to take as a freshman but I didn't get around to it until my senior year). I don't need PreCal or Calculus for my degree anymore which means the credit won't really count, thus completely erasing any sense of motivation I had of passing studying for it.

All of this means that the next few days will be spent memorizing the soundtracks from the latest three Harry Potter movies, Braveheart, The Chronicles of Narnia, The Tudors, John Adams, and Pirates of the Caribbean. Then, when I watch the movies and hear the different scores, I am reverted back to a painful memory of studying. How pleasant.

The local criminal courts judge teaching my Due Process class said our final will essentially be equivalent to a law school exam. We get two fact patterns and maybe a couple short answer questions. Previous fact patterns have included mastiff beastiality, and classy people named Whitney Spears and Kevin Borderline who forge checks in blood (allegedly). The ones on the final should be pretty good. I'm making a good grade in this class since I'm most interested in criminal law and this judge is badass, but I'd like to do really well and impress her since I'm interning for her next semester.

Yay! No more congressional district offices! I'm finally done--free at last. I love politics, but casework is a bitch. I don't care that Social Security is screwing you over because you filled out a form wrong. I don't care that the US won't let you and your five wives into our country, there's a good reason for that! Learn to speak English, and then we'll talk.

Hmm. Maybe it should be time to stop procrastinating.

Catching Up

I kept getting increasingly more busy as the semester went on so I had to neglect something. Sadly, it was my blog. But, it's okay because here's the catch up edition!

The internship is becoming more and more boring. I love politics, but I've decided that if I have another political internship, it has to be worthwhile and challenging. Nothing exciting happens and I'm not really learning anything anymore. Although I have had three older men come into the office to apologize for yelling at me on various occasions. One of them has a knack for knowing exactly when I'm working and laughs every time I answer his phone calls. On Tuesday, he asked if I got paid and I told him they should pay me to talk to him. He wasn't too happy about that comment. Hopefully I can go back to the DA's office soon so I can actually learn something again.

Moot court was a whole lot of fun. I really enjoyed the environment and constructing arguments. I was always complimented on having very good courtroom demeanor, but I'd rather do Mock Trial. Having big-ego'd 3Ls badger you about your argument is annoying. I think it'd be more fun in a trial setting.

I went to Buenos Aires, Argentina last month to visit my grandfather. It was a hell of a time. We had so much fun and had way too much good food. I still have yet to crave steak again. I'm pretty sure I had it twice a day every day we were there. I can't wait to go back though!

It's been really tough having the boy so far away this semester but it's so great when he comes into town every other weekend. It'll be another month before I'll see him again, which really sucks. Especially because I'm really good at screwing things up that make me happy. So, that brings me to the fact that I'm not sure we'll make it, and that makes me really sad. But, we'll see. And until then, I've got wonderful friends to lean on.

I wish this could be a happier post but I'm just not quite in the happy mood yet. I'll get there once I get another interesting internship and figure out what's going to happen with the boy. It's tough when you really like someone. And I'm not known for staying friends with exes. This may suck a little here in the next month or so. That's yet to be determined.

Problems With Traveling

When you travel to Lubbock, Argentina, Uruguay, DC, and Denver all in one month, you run into a huge problem: You have already read the only issue of every magazine out at this time.

Headed to Denver in half an hour. Many details to come next week when I return!

Subpar Day

I'm in this class that's typically reserved for first semester freshmen. I'm in it because I haven't been able to sign up since I changed my major after sophomore year. This class would be great if I was a first semester freshman; however, I am a senior. And these freshmen are complete idiots. I want to throw something at them every class and/or feed them the wrong information so they keep looking like idiots. This class puts me in a bad mood each and every time I attend.

But this isn't the sole reason I've had a subpar day.

The same old man that called on Tuesday asking about Obama's traveling secret service agents called again today. He has a good memory for an old geezer. He remembered me as soon as I answered the phone and started laughing and proceeded to say, "Haha oh you're that idiot intern who doesn't know what the hell she's doing. Go ahead and save yourself the embarrassment and self-esteem loss and pass me along to someone who knows what's going on in the world and then go quit your internship."

Seriously?

I don't know what my deal is this week to make this statement, that I know isn't true, get to me so much. I guess it's just been one of those weeks where I can't do anything right socially. In the past week or so, I've successfully made this incredible guy--whom I've come to really like--angry with me a handful of times because I keep saying stupid things. Or I don't say something. There's never any real reason for saying those things, so I'm not entirely sure what has made me think they have been warranted. I feel terrible about acting like the crazy psycho person I've always tried my best to avoid. I'm irritating myself, I'm bored with all of my classes except maybe one, I want to get on with my life and start a career that I actually enjoy.

Enough rambling. Maybe I should actually pay attention to this now 30 minute conversation about how the freshmen want a president they can drink beer with.

Daily Self-Esteem Boost

Some old man called the office this morning asking if I knew if Obama takes 3,000 Secret Service agents with him when he travels. Having absolutely no clue Thinking it was a matter of national security that the number of agents traveling with the president at various times remain a secret, I politely told him that that was beyond my knowledge. Plus, I'm just a lowly intern, they don't tell me these things. He wasn't too happy with that explanation so he got my name and told me that I am "an ignorant idiot who doesn't deserve to work in a Congressional office." Gee, thanks.

Obama is the New Postman

Me: Office of Congressperson.
Cracked out woman: Yes, ma'am, I'd like to let y'all know that I'm staying at the night shelter tonight.
Me: Okay...
Cracked out woman: Yes, ma'am, and I just wanted you to know that all of my monies and my credit cards and papers are in a box in the Post Office that is contolled by the government and Obama. I don't have the money to get a safety deposit box here at the shelter because Obama has all of my money.
Me: I'm sorry, why don't you have the money?
Cracked out woman: BECAUSE OBAMA HAS IT. Yes, ma'am, he does. And I think it'd be pretty embarrassing for me to have to put out all of these arrest warrants for Obama and the rest of his administration. Thank you, ma'am, bye.

ESPN Hates You

I follow a blog that lives and breathes my school's athletic program. The following link showed up on a post recently... the last point is the funniest, though you may find hilarity in it all!

Enjoy!

Math Sucks

Jimmy doesn't lie.

I have my first precal test at 10. Yes, precal... that class you usually take your last two years of high school. For some unknown reason, my major requires me to take calculus. Math and I don't get along so, I'm taking precal to relearn everything I learned in high school.

My problem at the moment is that I can't bullshit math. In all of my other classes for my major, I've gotten to write wonderful essays where there has never been one right answer. The right answer has always been what you can justify well as your answer. This leaves room for some excellent bullshitting. In precal? Not so much. (I'm also failing to find a purpose in all of these random numbers and letters, but that's a story for a different day.)

New game strategy: Run far away from anything with a negative and/or fractional exponent.

Dear Dad,

I will be hiring a tutor next week. I am a very smart person but math does not make me feel that way.