No Class on Fridays is Great

This story makes me smile and want to cry at the same time. The goodbye's can be so tough but it's the hello's that are better than anything. This story is just so great.

I'm going on an adventure in two weeks to lobby for the Texas Tuition Equalization Grant Program. I was invited by the former Student Body President and the people going aren't the usual people I run around with. So, I'm really excited! And the school is paying for everything. It'll be fun hanging around with people I don't really hang out with and spending two days in the Texas Capitol (which is taller than the US Capitol, lest anyone ever forgets). Plus, who doesn't like schmoozing with lawmakers? Personally, it's one of my most favorite past times. 

Plan E

I was flipping around earlier trying to find something to watch on TV and came across a show on The History Channel discussing the different major theories of how dinosaurs became extinct. It was awesome. 

Dinosaurs have always fascinated me. My parents bought me dinosaur figurines when I was little and I'd go around telling everyone which dinosaurs were which and The Land Before Time movies were my favorite (after The Wizard of OZ, of course). Even now I'll watch shows on The History Channel and The Discovery Channel on dinosaurs, especially the ones about their extinction. It's just incredible that we still have yet to figure out the exact cause of their death. 

So, I've decided that if life plans A.) law, B.) politics, C.) writing and, D.) international call girl all fail me, I'm going back to school to become a paleontologist. Then, I will single-handedly (along with my team of attractive younger male interns) figure out the REAL cause of the dinosaurs' demise. 

I also need to figure out a new life plan because last night I found out that Rep. Aaron Schock (R-IL) is gay. Therefore, I have no chance and we will not be getting married. Ugh. Bummer.

Was it Monday or was it just me?

White Trash Woman: I need help with a prison matter.

Me: Okay, ma'am is it a state or federal prison?

WTW: I'll let you figure that out at the end. First, you have to hear my story.

Me: Alright, go ahead.

WTW [the short version]: My daddy died in prison from liver sorosis. My brother got the same thing when he was in the same prison as my daddy but I got him better by making him drink bottles of aloe vera gel. My son is now in prison-

Me: The same prison or a different one?

WTW: A different one... it's [gives name of prison so I can Google it]. Now, he's had a broken hand since he first got in there almost two years ago and none of the doctors will treat it. And he had a really good job in the kitchen there and had to be up in there at 3:00 in the morning every day. But then, the lunch ladies or whoever the hell they are started telling him to give them sexual pleasure and fuck them or else they're going to report him to the Warden for sexual har-ASS-munt and they'll start a CASE on him. Now, I don't care that he's fucking them. They're actually doing him a favor. I know he likes to fuck and at least I know he's not fucking any of those men he's in prison with.....

WTW then goes on and on with her story and getting more and more upset by the end of it. I had figured out that her matter was of state jurisdiction and we couldn't do anything for her after she told me the name of the prison. So, I had to listen to her talk about this for about ten more minutes before I could tell her to call her State Senator.

THEN

An African-American man who had been convicted and served time for two felony kidnappings (among a few other illegal acts) called wanting God knows what about his Social Security Disability. He yelled at me and told me to stop giving him "the run-around" and giving him "setbacks" while I was trying to tell him that he wasn't in our district so we couldn't do anything for him. He wouldn't hear anything about it so he asked for someone with "ah-thor-ah-teh" in a voice that sounded just like Cartman from South Park. While I was dying laughing, I transfered him to the case worker I was there with. The guy ended up hanging up on the case worker. The guy called back about 15 minutes later and proceeded to yell at me some more before I yelled back at him and finally hung up on him because he was being so unreasonable and difficult to work with. The third time he called, another staffer tried to talk to him and tell him to call the other congressional office in town and after he wouldn't, she told him that he wasn't allowed to call our office again so he hung up on her. We didn't hear from him again for the rest of the day.

Did these crazy people call because it's a Monday or did they call just because they know I'm working? The case worker told me they haven't gotten such crazy calls before I started interning there. I attract the crazies. No wonder I'm still single.

Crazy Friday

It was just that kind of day were the most random people called the office. It was just the 28 year-old case worker and I today and we laughed for about 15 minutes straight after our very first caller of the day:

Me: Good morning, office of Congressman Badass.

Indian Man: Yes, I have a question. I have three wives over in India and I was wondering if it was okay if I married another one.

Me: Well, yes, that's okay if it's legal in India. Are you a permanent resident or a citizen?

Indian Man: I'm a permanent resident.

Me: Do you have a wife here?

Indian Man: We recently got divorced. [I'm hoping this was after she found out about his three other wives.]

Me: Okay, very good. Is there anything else?

Indian Man: Yes. Can I bring my wives over?

Me: Um. No... That's illegal in the United States. You can being one over but...

Indian Man: Oh, no, that's okay. That's fine. I'll just pick my favorite one and the rest can stay there. Thanks! -Click.-

WHAT?! We talked about that exact type of situation in my globalization class but I never thought I'd ever encounter it in person. Ri-damn-diculous. 

I also found this hilarious video this morning... High Five!

Girl, breaking's what your heart is for.

La Fonda: Do you know where the moon is?

I hesitantly point straight up to the ceiling with a "wtf?" look on my face.

La Fonda: No, you idiot! I know where THAT moon is! I was talking about the bar!

There's nothing like a little humor to start a blog post. 

I had a quasi-meltdown last night. It was like BAM! everything I have to do this semester (aka the world) settled itself squarely on my shoulders and I stumbled. I don't like stumbling or faltering or anything of that sort. I'm a composed, driven person who knows what she wants and how to get it...

Except some things just seem so far out of my reach and out of my control. Feeling out of control is horrible. 

Last night I had the same dream I've had about 4 or 5 times in the past couple of months. I went to this dream interpreter to try and decipher the code my noggin is giving me. Here's the short version: I'm apparently fucked up in the head. The weirdest part about it is that the symbols supposedly mean a lot of stuff that's completely relevant to my life right now. It's kind of like when you read a horoscope that just so happens to coincide with how you're feeling about life at that point in time. AND today when I was at yoga, the instructor read this little passage thing at the end of the class and I felt like she had picked it specifically for me. It was eerie. 

So, now I take a breath and another step forward...

Overwhelmed.

UPS brought my LSAT prep kit today. I don't think a stack of books has ever intimidated me before until I saw this massive mountain of LSAT goodies.

What have I gotten myself into this semester?

What a Pleasant Surprise...

I made the Dean's List last semester! Huh. Who would've thunk that after failing Elementary Statistics my freshman year I'd eventually make it onto the Dean's List. Not me. I'm very proud of myself though... It's like a monumental achievement for me and provides excellent motivation for this semester. Which means I will have absolutely no social life.

Alpha Gay and I went to look at a two-bedroom apartment today in a really nice new complex. We sort of fell in love with one of the setups. And it'd only be about $100 more a month for me minus the high maintenance psychotic roommates I currently live with. Daddy, lets weigh the options! 

Sidenote: I really don't like calling my dad "Daddy." It's too girlie and helpless like "oh I can't do anything with my life ever which is why I'm here for my MRS degree so someone else can pay for my high-end lifestyle after I graduate." "Dad" is just a stronger, more respectful way without the ridiculousness of "Father." Dad is Dad. End of story.